Countdown

     On the morning of November 22, 1963, Dallas was bright and sunny. The mood of the city was described as "festive,” and the people of Dallas were "looking forward to" the President's visit "with keen anticipation."      

     The dark thoughts of Lee Harvey Oswald stood as much in contrast to the festivity around him as the eye of a storm to the storm itself. As he left his sleeping wife Marina at the Payne house that morning, he dropped his wedding band in a cup on the dresser. In an envelope, he left her the $175 he had withdrawn when he emptied his bank account. No doubt he saw himself starting a new life elsewhere on the money the mob was paying him. He caught a ride with a co-worker to the Dallas School Book Depository.

     Around 11:30 that morning, a Dallas housewife named Julia Ann Mercer was driving in a westerly direction along Elm Street, through Dealey Plaza. When she came to the spot almost directly in front of the grassy knoll, a green Ford pickup truck, illegally parked, blocked her lane to the right.

     According to her description, the truck bore Texas license plates. As she waited for traffic to clear, allowing her to drive around the truck, she saw "a white male who appeared to be in his late twenties or early thirties, wearing a gray jacket, brown pants and a plaid shirt," remove what appeared to be a rifle case from the back of the truck. He then carried the rifle case to the crest of the grassy knoll and vanished behind the bushes. Three Dallas police officers stood nearby talking, appearing to take no notice of the suspicious event.    

     To make the matter even more suspicious, the Dallas Police Department later claimed that "no police officers were assigned along that part of the route."

     After Ruby had shot Oswald, Julia Ann Mercer reported to the Dallas Sheriff's Office that "she thought the driver of the pickup truck was Jack Ruby. At the time of the event, though, she had thought the driver of the pickup truck was television personality Ed McMahon. Police Chief Jesse Curry had "called upon every available reserve" to provide security for the motorcade route. They totaled about 700 policemen, Texas Rangers, sheriff's deputies, the state police, the Department of Public Safety, the governor's Bureau of Investigation, and even firemen. He felt his responsibility for security ended at the intersection of Main and Houston, where the crowds could be expected to thin out.

     The Presidential motorcade was running about five minutes late. It had been scheduled to arrive at the Trade Mart at 12:30. Instead, at that time, it would arrive at the Dallas School Book Depository.

According to one report, Helen Forrest was standing on Elm Street around noon, "in blazing sunlight.” Then and there, she "saw a man with a rifle"in a second floor window of the Texas School Book Depository. I'm still trying to determine the significance of the "blazing sunlight.” Does that mean she could clearly see the window; or does it mean she was blinded by the sun; or was she "tetched" by the "blazing sunlight"? That's one of the remaining unsolved mysteries of the Kennedy Assassination.

     Supposedly to provide Lee Harvey Oswald with an alibi, Oswald was told to eat lunch in the domino room on the first floor. Since the Presidential motorcade was not expected to pass the depository until 12:25, Oswald did not have to return to the sixth floor until almost 12:20. After Oswald began eating his sandwich, he decided that a Coke would go better with it. He then went up to the second-floor lunchroom for a Coke.

     Since noon, Arnold Rowland and his wife had been standing across from the Depository waiting for the Presidential motorcade. Around 12:15, he said to his wife, "Would you like to see a Secret Service agent?" He pointed to a the far southwest corner window of the sixth floor of the depository. A few feet back from that window stood a man with a high-powered rifle. Also around 12:15, Carolyn Walter and Ruby Henderson saw two men in the far southeastern corner of the sixth floor of the Depository. That was the window police later identified as the sniper's nest. John Powell, a jailbird looking across Dealey Plaza from his sixth floor cell in the Dallas County Jail, saw two men in the sniper's nest window.

     At that moment, Lee Harvey Oswald was sitting in the second-floor lunchroom of the building. He later said that only three people were in the lunchroom at that moment. One was a black man known to his co-workers as Junior. Another was a short black man whose name Oswald didn't know. The third was Oswald himself. Investigation revealed that, indeed, a black man called Junior Jarnan and a short black man named Harold Norman were in the lunchroom at that time. They said that a white man was also in the lunchroom, but they didn't recall who he was.

     Carolyn Arnold, the secretary to the vice president of the Dallas School Book Depository, walked into the lunchroom at 12:15 "or a little later" for a drink of water. She saw Oswald sitting in a booth to her right.

     Five year-old Luther Gooch was standing near the corner of Elm and Main, picking his nose and intently studying the boogers. He didn't see anything.

     Around that same time (one hour earlier Eastern Standard Time) Jerry Mills and his best friend Billy McKay were in a civics class at Timmonsville (S.C.) High School. Their teacher was named George Reeves. Of course, that has nothing to do with "who hit John,” but everyone likes to tell his own recollections of the assassination.

     Between 12:25 and 12:28, Arnold Rowland took another look at the depository. Someone he later described as "a black man" leaned out the window of the sniper's nest.

* * *

     At 12:28, Captain Kook had more than ample reason to worry about his ability to save President Kennedy's life. Everything seemed to be going wrong.

     He called the Chief Engineer Snot on the intercom, "Snotty, we're coming down to the wire. It looks as though we'll have to switch the Vicarian with President Kennedy. Is everything ready in the transporter room?"

     "The Vicarian is in place, and we're locked on to the President, but the flamjammer solanoid on the transporter is stuck solid."

     "Isn't there something you can do, Snotty?"

     "I'll have to reverse the diaflustatic hugag, but it'll take at least two weeks!"

     "Snotty!" Captain Kook exclaimed, "We don't have two weeks! We barely have two minutes!"

     With his voice rising in frustration, Mr. Snot cried, "I'll see if I can take a few shortcuts."

"Okay, get on it. Kook out."

     Lt. O'Hara contacted Ensign Jackass. "Ensign Jackass," Captain Kook barked into the speaker next to O'Hara.

     "Yes, Captain," Jackass's voice responded.

     "Have you checked the grassy knoll for shooters?"

     "No problem-o, Captain. I went up there a few minutes ago and saw two men. They showed me their Secret Service badges and told me that everything was under control."

     "Then what did you do?"

     "Well, since the Secret Service has everything under control, I decided to go to the nearest cafe for a burger and fries. It's my lunchtime."

     "You idiot!" Captain Kook roared. "The Secret Service didn't have any agents assigned to the grassy knoll area!"

     "You mean those guys lied to me?"

     "Yes, they're imposters! Go zap them before they can shoot the President!" Ensign Jackass quickly paid for his meal and asked for a carry-outbag. With just over a minute to spare, he rushed from the cafe.

     Captain Kook then had Lt. O'Hara contact Lt. Dzau-le. "Yes, Captain?" came Mr. Dzau-le's voice.

     "Where are you now?"

     "I'm on the second floor of the Dal-Tex Building. I've searched almost every room with a window facing the street, but I've not yet located Eugene Brading."

     "Captain, look!" Lt. O'Hara exclaimed. O'Hara and Kook looked at the visual scanner screen on the bridge of the Lula Belle. The motorcade was just beginning to make a ninety-degree turn off of Main Street onto Houston Street. The Hertz Rent-a-Car sign on the roof of the Texas School Book Depository gave the time: 12:29. They had less than ninety seconds to stop the assassination.

     Lt. O'Hara called up Mr. Spook, now stalled on the first floor of the Dallas School Book Depository.

     "Jim, I'm doing my best to get through," he said impatiently, "but the receptionist won't let me past the first floor entrance."

     "Spook," Captain Kook pleaded, "we're down to seconds. You must get through. Use your charm." Rosie Cinario, the receptionist, watched in fascination as Mr. Spook carried on his conversation over the futuristic cellular telephone. She was later to report that she had never seen a "walkie talkie" that small or sleek before.

     "Oh, why didn't you tell me you were with the Secret Service?" she said. "If you have to search the building, I'm sure it will be all right." Mr. Spook quickly thanked her and rushed toward the freight elevator.      

     Mr. Dzau-le rushed into yet another second-floor room of the Dal-Tex Building. Two men stood facing the window. They quickly turned, reaching into their coats for their pistols. Before either could fire, Mr. Dzau-le stunned them with his zapper. The men fell backwards, landing unconscious on the floor.

     Mr. Dzau-le rushed up to them, turned them over and examined the contents of their wallets. One of the men carried a California driver's license in the name of Jim Braden. Mr. Dzau-le spoke into his communication device, "Captain, I just stunned Jim Braden and an accomplice—“

     "Good work, Dzau-le!" Captain Kook interrupted.

     "Captain, there's something wrong!"

     "What's that?"

     "He was carrying a .38 Smith and Wesson Police Special. There's no way a shooter could hit President Kennedy from this distance."

     Captain Kook emitted a shocked sigh and clenched his fists. A second later, he placed the forefinger of his left fist against his mouth and said, half to himself, "Of course! He wasn't supposed to kill Kennedy. After Oswald had killed Kennedy, he was supposed to kill Oswald and make it look as though a Dallas policeman had done it. Quick, Dzau-le! Are you able to zap Oswald from your window?"

     "No, Captain!"

     "No? Why not?"

     "There's a slight reflection on the window of the depository. I can see Oswald from here, but the beam from the zapper would reflect off the glass."

     Mr. Spook tried to get to the sixth floor of the Dallas School Book Depository by elevator, but he found it was stuck on a floor somewhere above him. Oswald had stopped the elevator at the sixth floor to prevent anyone from interfering with his appointment with history. The Hertz sign on the roof of the depository changed from 12:29 to 12:30. At that moment, the presidential motorcade, having slowed to eleven miles per hour, made an abrupt dogleg turn from Houston Street onto Elm Street. 

     Mr. Spook was just rushing toward the first-floor stairway with five floors between himself and the sniper's nest. In the sniper's nest, Lee Harvey Oswald cradled his Mannlischer-Carcano to his cheek, waiting for the word to fire. Just behind him, holding a walkie-talkie to his ear, stood Richard Cain, who had previously been employed by the Cook County (Chicago) Sheriff's Department. Chuck Nicoletti, pocket binoculars in hand, stood at the window at the opposite end of the sixth floor storeroom.

     In just thirty seconds, Jack Ruby would give the order to fire.

     Several hundred miles in space, the crew on the bridge of the Lula Belle watched the tragedy unfold on the scanner screen. It seemed incongruous that, only days earlier, they had been using that same screen to watch San Fernando Red on The Red Skelton Show. Unless, by some miracle, they managed to stop all of the gunmen in less than thirty seconds, they could expect to miss The Bullwinkle Show the following morning.

* * *

     Ensign Jackass rushed along the railroad tracks behind the grassy knoll, trying to keep out of sight. Only seconds before the first shot was fired, he came within sight of the shooters. There he saw a team of six men. Because a man with a walkie-talkie stood between Ensign Jackass and the shooter, Jackass could not see the shooter's face. Several stooges stood facing away from the shooter and the man with the walkie-talkie.

Apparently, their job was to prevent last-minute interference with the shooter. Another man stood watching the grassy knoll.

     The Lula Belle's computer was later to identify the walkie-talkie man, and the man facing the grassy knoll as Roscoe White and J. D. Tippit. Both White and Tippit were Dallas police officers, and both of them had worked for the Cook County Sheriff's Department. The stooges were identified as Moses Horowitz, Lawrence Finestein, and Joseph DiRita. Horowitz's outfit previously had included his brothers, Jerome and Samuel, as well as Joseph Besser. Because of all the people in his way, Ensign Jackass could not get a look at the shooter, let alone a clear shot. For a few seconds, all he could see was the rifle.

     Then, ever so briefly, he saw the shooter's face. The shooter was Shari Lewis' hand puppet, Lambchops. Ensign Jackass was heartbroken to see America's most beloved hand puppet preparing to assassinate the President of the United States.