Introduction and Disclaimer

     Everyone has his own conspiracy theory concerning the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
     Suspected conspirators include rogue elements of the FBI, the CIA, and an alphabet soup of other shady characters. They include the military-industrial complex, the mafia, Richard Nixon, Lyndon Johnson, Cuban freedom fighters, Fidel Castro, the Soviet KGB, Dallas businessmen, Dallas and Chicago law enforcement officers, and more.
     Other conspiracy theorists say that Kennedy survived his wounds and spent the next two years on a Greek island owned by Aristotle Onassis, so brain-damaged that he was unaware of his own existence there, until he died and secretly was buried at sea.
     Still another theory has a double killed in his place. Yet another has him saved by space aliens. One more has him faking his own death.
     Even the "lone gunman" theorists have their own conspiracy theory: that all these conspiracy theories are nothing more than a conspiracy to sell crummy books to gullible people.
     I spent more than thirty years pouring over all the JFK assassination lore I could find. In my endless hours of seriously contemplating the significance of each bit of evidence, I am deeply indebted to Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and I. W. Harper for their invaluable assistance.
At last, I have formulated my own conspiracy theory: THE CONSPIRACY THEORY TO END ALL CONSPIRACY THEORIES—we hope.


DISCLAIMER


     THE LAST JFK CONSPIRACY BOOK is a satire of the flood of conspiracy theories that have been spun since the assassination of our thirty-fifth President, John F. Kennedy. It is not intended as a satire of the assassination itself. The reader also may recognize a satirical rendering of a certain television and movie series, as well as satires of other aspects of American society. The author has written THE LAST JFK CONSPIRACY BOOK in semi-documentary, semi- fictional form. In its semi-documentary form, it seeks to parody the conspiracy books about the Kennedy assassination. In its semi- fictional form, it seeks to parody the conspiracy movies about the assassination.
     The author could not possibly have rolled every conspiracy theory into a single narrative, but a desire to avoid utter tastelessness led him to include the theory that an imposter had taken President Kennedy's place at the moment of the assassination.
In THE LAST JFK CONSPIRACY BOOK, that imposter was a being from a planet called Vicarias. Because THE LAST JFK CONSPIRACY BOOK is just a parody and contains many speculative and obviously fictitious passages, it should not be considered a source of information about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. In reading THE LAST JFK CONSPIRACY BOOK, the reader should not accept as fact anything not already known as fact.