Appendix B: Other Information Concerning the System

FBI records reveal that the System is still in existence.
You've probably imagined that the System had something to do with the Ford Motor Company coming out with the Edsel in 1958; and that they were behind the Coca-Cola Company's marketing of New Coke in 1986. You may have even suspected the System of convincing President Jimmy Carter to make his "malaise" speech, or of telling President George Bush, since the 1992 elections were a whole year away, the voters wouldn't remember that he had raised their taxes during a recession.
The System had nothing to do with their monumental boo-boos. For at least two reasons, the System avoids trying to foul up the lives of the high and mighty.
The first reason is, the slips and fumbles of those on the top rung of the ladder of success tend to give some consolation to those on the bottom rung.
The System prefers that the lowly and helpless have no source of consolation, which, I must add, is a major reason they convinced the Supreme Court that the mention of God has no place in American education, leaving only the doctrine that each student is the product of random chance and other impersonal influences beyond the scope of each person's responsibility--and that each person, after all, is just an animal only a little more complex than (but not superior to) the apes.
(Having accomplished this end, the System managed to bring about the disarming of school officials and security personnel, thereby turning American schools into free-fire zones for students who go ape. The System has increased the chances of this happening by convincing doctors that the active nature of teenagers is abnormal and must be corrected with psychotropic drugs.)
The second reason is the high and mighty do a swell job of fouling up their own lives. Because they can afford to eat anything they wish, and for other reasons related to wealth and power, they have shorter-than-average life expectancies. Further, the seeds of self-destruction often are germinated in a climate of success, bearing fruit when they are watered by delusions of invincibility.
I won't burden you with examples. I'm sure you can come up with many of your own. (What was the name of that golfer who was a celebrated role model?)
The System, not content with merely fouling up the lives of innocent people, does everything it can to add insult to injury. In order to make life worse for talented, hard-working failures, the System engineers the success of people with little or no talent.
As a means of self-congratulation for their efforts, the System secretly maintains a Hall of Fame for Mediocre Americans.
In their Hall of Fame, they claim responsibility for the success of many Americans who have displayed a remarkable lack of talent in their chosen fields. The Hall of Fame for Mediocre Americans includes, but is not limited to, Ed McMahon, Derwood Kirby, Donnie Osmond, Tom Cruise, Dan Quayle, Gerald Ford, George W. Bush, and, of course, Barack Obama. The entrance to the Hall is graced by a life-sized statue of Sonny Bono, whose name has become a metaphor for successful Americans with no talent.
There is said to be an exhibit honoring people who barely knew they were in the world, and who should be declared brain-dead, yet became rich "authors" (due to the work of ghost writers) simply by being picked as jurors at sensational murder trials. (What was the name of that ex-football player who said that taking a butcher knife to his wife like a benihana chef proved that he loved her?) Be assured that I am doing all I can to keep track of the nefarious activities of the System. America must be made safe for hardworking, talented people who fail through no fault of their own.